


Summer

by ForiegnMoons



Category: RuPaul’s Drag Race RPF
Genre: Angst, F/F, High School AU, It’s seriously just sad, Lesbian AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-17
Updated: 2020-09-04
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:07:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25950349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ForiegnMoons/pseuds/ForiegnMoons
Summary: Once the plane was in the air she was able to calm down more. Her mind slipped off into the past. She hoped Gigi remembered their promise.“Hey Gee, when summer comes will you meet me at the spot?”“Of course Birdy. Anything for you. I’ll see you there at the usual time, okay?”OrA sad one shot because I’m sad again
Relationships: Gigi Goode/Crystal Methyd
Comments: 8
Kudos: 35





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Wow two pieces in one day? I’m an animal! This is kinda hard for me to post cause it’s lowkey highkey based off of my life ✌🏽😚✌🏽 Anyway, enjoy the sadness~Moons!💞

  
Looking back, Crystal would give anything to change how things ended. One thing was for sure though, she would never change how they started. 

Homecoming night of sophomore year Crystal Methyd met Gigi Goode, the new girl who nobody could quite get a read on. With her long black hair and flashing blue eyes, she was undeniably gorgeous and the cloud of mystery that hung around her grabbed everyone’s attention. Including Crystal’s. _Especially_ Crystal’s. 

Gigi was wearing a simple outfit, a lavender crop top with ripped white jeans and a pair of black heels. Crystal thought she looked ethereal. Sure, their friend groups were the same and they frequently saw each other, but Crystal had never worked up the nerve to talk to Gigi. 

“Do you wanna get out of here?” Crystal was completely caught off guard by the question. She felt her face go red and secretly cursed her stupidly useless lesbian heart. 

“I-uh, wh-what do you mean by that exactly?” She stammered out. _Stupid lesbian brain!_ It was also the first time Crystal heard Gigi’s laugh. It was like a melody, soft and sweet like an angel. Gigi leaned forward, placing a hand on Crystal’s shoulder to brace herself. It felt like a million volts of electricity shooting through her body at once. 

“Sorry! That must’ve been a confusing question for you! What I mean is, do you wanna go for a drive? I hate parties but my friends dragged me here and you don’t seem to like them much either.” Crystal could hardly believe her ears. The most beautiful person she had ever seen wanted to spend time with her. Alone. Wait, _ALONE?!_ Crystal nearly had a gay seizure at the idea. 

“Um, yeah that sounds great! Let me just find my friend! I’ll be right back!” Crystal sprinted off to find Nicky, who was completely wasted and hanging off of her long time crush, Jaida. 

“Nicky, Gigi and I are gonna head out. Please don’t drink anymore, you’re going to die one of these days!” Nicky looked up to reply, but stumbled when she tried to step forward. Jaida caught her and set her upright. 

“Chile, we need to get some water in you. You’re a messy bitch. You’re lucky you’re so cute.” Jaida muttered the last part, but Crystal was sober enough to hear. Definitely something to ask about later. Crystal ran back to where she had left Gigi, finding that her heart skipped a beat when she saw the raven haired beauty again. 

“Okay! Ready to go! Wait where are we going...?” 

“Don’t worry Birdy. We’re just gonna go for a drive.” Gigi smiled and twirled her keys around her finger. 

“Birdy...?”

“Yeah. You remind me of a bird. Cute and goofy, but free at heart. What are you waiting for? Let’s go!” Gigi grabbed Crystal’s hand and pulled her out of the house party. The fresh air was a relief for both girls, rid of the stuffy air which was rife with the scent of alcohol. Crystal threw her arms out and spun around, rejoicing in the freedom that came from the crisp night air. 

“See? Like a bird!” Crystal turned around sheepishly to see Gigi looking at her fondly. That was the moment Crystal knew she was screwed. The two walked in a somewhat awkward silence until they reached Gigi’s vehicle. 

“ _Holy shit_...where did you get a motorcycle...?” Crystal gasped, running her hands over the leather seats. The sleek black bike was big enough for two, though it would undoubtedly be a bit of a squeeze. 

“It was a gift for my sixteenth birthday. _Technically_ , I’m not supposed to give other people rides yet, but for you, I’ll make an exception.” Gigi’s smile was bright as she tugged on a helmet and a pair of leather riding pants. She threw on a matching jacket with it and opened the carrier that was attached to the back. From inside she pulled out a second helmet and set of riding gear, and handed it over to Crystal. The way it fit like a glove was almost eerie. Jamming the helmet over her unruly brown hair was a bit of a struggle, but Gigi brushed her hair to the side and pushed it down so that it sat snuggly on Crystal’s head. The close proximity made Crystal blush again. Every time she got close to the other girl, her face felt like it was on fire. 

“Hop on. You’re gonna have to hold on tight, but don’t be scared. I promise I’m a really good driver!” Gigi mounted the bike and motioned Crystal forward. The Latina slung one leg over the seat and settled onto it. Tentatively, she leaned into Gigi’s back and wrapped her arms around her thin waist. Even though it was cold out, Gigi was warm to the touch. 

“You ready Birdy?”

“Ready Gee.”

“Nicknames already? Guess I’m stuck with you now huh?” Gigi’s voice was teasing as she flipped the kickstand up. Crystal couldn’t see, but Gigi’s pale skin was flushed pink under the helmet. With a start of the ignition and a quick check that everything was in order, they sped off into the night. 

Springfield Missouri wasn’t the most beautiful place, but with Gigi it felt as though they were in heaven itself. The wind whipped around Crystal and Gigi as they merged onto the highway. Crystal held tight to Gigi, probably too tight, but neither girl was complaining. Crystal’s eyes were screwed shut tightly. She was scared, though she never admitted it aloud. The confident motions and shifts Gigi made soothed the anxiety, and she soon found herself opening her eyes. 

The way the lights rushed by as they wove between the empty lanes looked like something out of a teen coming-of-age movie, or one of those time-lapse videos of cars driving by. Slowly but surely, she began to feel comfortable. About thirty minutes in, she was whooping loudly and extending her arms up into the air. The wind rushed over her limbs, tickling the exposed skin. She could hear Gigi’s laugh from in front of her as they exited the highway. 

They drove past streets illuminated by porch lights and the dull glow of street lamps. Crystal wondered where Gigi was taking her. Another fifteen minutes passed before they came to a stop. When Crystal looked up to see where they were, the girl was greeted with the sight of a beautiful expanse of grass. A large hill stood in the middle of the field, but all Crystal could look at was the way Gigi’s hair billowed out from her helmet as though she was in a commercial when she removed it. 

“Come on Birdy, let’s go.” Gigi removed her riding gear and laid it over the motorcycle, gesturing for Crystal to do the same. In her hurry to get out of the leather pieces, Crystal tripped and fell forward towards the grass. 

She really hoped Gigi wasn’t watching. 

“Whoa there Birdy, be carful!” Gigi laughed as she caught Crystal and returned her to her feet. Crystal was surprised by the strong layer of muscle that hid under the girl’s lean exterior. She nodded silently and finished removing and folding the clothes Gigi lent her. 

Gigi popped the lid of the storage container again and pulled out a blanket. She held her hand out to Crystal, who took it hesitantly. The moment that she did, Gigi was pulling her off and up the hill. By the time they reached the apex of the hill, Crystal was wheezing slightly and bent over. Gigi looked completely unfazed, and began laying out the pattered blanket. She flopped down and let out a sigh of relief. 

Crystal couldn’t stop staring at Gigi the entire time. The way her cute button nose sloped, the way her plump lips curled around her white teeth when she smiled, the way her hair flowed out from her head like a crown. Crystal was completely screwed. 

“Sit down already. You’re so rigid...” Gigi teased before pulling Crystal down to her level. Crystal stumbled forward and into Gigi’s arms. The surprised squeak that tumbled from her lips rang through the silent night. She felt herself collide with with Gigi’s body instead of the ground. Gigi’s arms immediately wrapped around Crystal, snuggling into her and turning the girl’s body around to face the view in front of them. 

“Aren’t the stars pretty? I’ve always loved the way they twinkle up in the sky.” Gigi whispered quietly. Crystal hummed her agreement, but all she could focus on was Gigi’s warmth around her. 

They stayed like that for hours, limbs tangled together and sharing secrets. Crystal learned everything she could about the other girl. How she wanted to become a fashion designer, that she hated puppets, and that the moment she could leave town, she was headed west for Los Angeles. Crystal shared a lot too, but she really only wanted to learn more about Gigi. 

When her phone chimed with a notification, she checked the time and realized she was getting close to her curfew. 

“Shit, I need to get back! Would you, um, mind giving me a ride home? I kinda rode here with Nicky but she’s probably passed out in Jan’s couch...” Gigi’s face immediately broke out into the most beautiful grin. 

“Of course Birdy! Who am I to leave a pretty girl out here in the middle of nowhere?” Crystal tried not to let the vibrant blush that spread across her cheeks show, but from the smirk on Gigi’s face, it was already too late for that. Putting all the gear back on was a bit of a hassle, but it was that or risk getting her clothes dirty. Besides, Gigi looked amazing in the leather, and Crystal thought they looked like a matching pair in the outfits. They looked even like a couple. 

Crystal quickly shook the idea. 

The drive home was silent except for the wind rushing through their ears. They retraced the path they took to get to the grassy knoll, pausing at a red light. 

“Where do you live?”

“ _Oh!_ Right I didn’t tell you, sorry! Um, just go up nine more streets then take a right. I’m on that block.” Gigi nodded and sped off when the light switched to green. The time flew by far too fast for Crystal’s liking. It was only a few minutes before they reached Crystal’s house. Gigi stopped and flicked the kickstand out before removing her helmet and turning to Crystal. 

“I had a nice time Birdy, make sure you call me.”

“W-wait! What about your gear? Don’t you want it back?” Crystal took her helmet off and returned it to Gigi. 

Giving her a once over, Gigi began to speak. “Nah. Keep it. It looks hot on you. Besides, I’ve got a feeling we’ll be doing this again.” With that, Gigi put her helmet back on and sped away. 

“ _Wait!_ I don’t have your number!” Crystal shouted out to the girl, but she knew the purring engine of the motorcycle made it impossible for Gigi to hear her. 

——~——

Before long, it became a tradition of theirs. Gigi would find Crystal at parties and the two would steal away into the night. None of their friends questioned why the two always disappeared together. It was obvious to anyone with eyes how the two looked at each other. Any time they were in the same room they gravitated naturally toward each other. It was as if they were magnetized. 

Years passed, and Crystal’s feelings only grew stronger. In Junior year it was almost painful how much her heart ached for Gigi. By Senior year, it was bordering on intolerable. Things had come and gone, but one thing always stayed the same. Crystal was madly in love with Gigi, but forever too scared to say anything for fear of ruining the friendship they had cultivated. 

“You know, it seems like only yesterday we met and were laying in the field.” Gigi mused, rolling her head to the side to look over at Crystal. The warm summer air ghosted over their skin as they lay up on Gigi’s roof. 

“It really does...I’m gonna miss you, you know...” The truth of the matter hurt Crystal’s heart. In two week, Gigi would be able to realize her dreams of moving to L.A. and becoming a designer. She had been accepted into the prestigious fashion school she had applied to. Crystal was happy for her best friend of course, but part of her wished that she would go with her instead.

Crystal was headed to New York, where Gigi was also applied to a college and gotten in. It hurt to know that Gigi would be somewhere else, but she wanted her best friend to be happy more than she could even say. 

“Why did we _ever_ want to grow up?” Crystal groaned sadly. Gigi chuckled and entwined her fingers with Crystal’s, something they did frequently, but always made her heart flutter. 

“I wish we had more time...” Gigi’s voice was so quiet that Crystal barely caught the words. She did though, and couldn’t help the way her ears perked up. 

“What do you mean?”

“I-I guess I just wish we had more time together before we had to leave. There’s so much more I wanted to say...” For what seemed like the first time since they met, Gigi sounded anxious. The brunette had always been calm, cool, and collected, but her energy was something different that night. 

“What did you want to say?” Crystal sat up from where she was laying down, looking into Gigi’s pale blues orbs. She looked almost as though she was in pain. “It’s okay, it’s just me...” 

“That’s the problem Crys! It’s _you_! It’s _always_ been you!” A small tear slipped out of Gigi’s eye as she refused to make eye contact. 

“Geege I-“ Gigi cut Crystal off by surging forward and kissing her deeply. Crystal was shocked, but after a few seconds she kissed Gigi back. The happy sigh the other girl emitted was all Crystal ever wanted to hear. Gigi curled her fingers on Crystal’s chest and leaned into the touch. Everything felt like it was clicking into place for Crystal. The feeling of Gigi’s body arching into hers and their lips slotted together just felt right. 

When they broke apart, Gigi’s eyes were wide and looked almost scared. Crystal reached out and cupped Gigi’s cheek, brushing her fingers over the girl’s high cheekbones. 

“You have no idea how badly I’ve wanted to do that...” 

“So do it again.” Crystal wasted no time in kissing Gigi again. This time, the smaller woman clambered into Crystal’s lap and held her close. They noticed they were slipping down the roof so Gigi pulled them back through her window and shoved Crystal back onto her bed. 

“Gee? What are you doing?” 

“You’re not an innocent little girl Crys. Unless you say you don’t want me to, I’m gonna fuck your brains out.” 

“Fuck Gee, I want you to so bad. Please...” That was all Gigi needed to keep going. She practically consumed Crystal. Each touch and kiss felt like they were letting years of tension. Crystal was on top of the world. 

——~——

The next two weeks were a blur of stolen kisses and fleeting touches. It barely felt real to Crystal, who had torn herself up for years over the nature of their relationship. If she was honest, she was still fretting over what they were. It was only when Gigi was packing up her family’s SUV for the cross-country drive that she worked up the courage to ask. 

“Hey Gee? What are we?” The silence she was met with was not comforting in the slightest. 

“Let’s not label things. We’re going to different coasts, and you know I’m shitty at relationships as is.” Crystal knew that that would be the answer she’d receive, but it didn’t hurt any less. She nodded and tried not to let the tear that brimmed in her eye slip out. 

“Hey, don’t cry Birdy, you know I love you. Besides, I’ll see you when we’re home for the summer right? Plus, we won’t have school work or anything so we can do whatever we want!” Gigi’s face was smiling, but it didn’t make Crystal’s heart hurt any less. 

“Right...” Deep down, Crystal wanted an answer more than anything else in that moment. She wanted an answer because she knew if she let Gigi go now, that she would never get her back. Not truly at least. She couldn’t stand the idea of not having Gigi around. 

——~——

Life without Gigi went on. They still texted and facetimed of course, but it wasn’t the same. Crystal needed to feel Gigi next to her again. It was hard, but she continued on as though nothing happened. Stopping to think too long would only allow the empty feeling deep inside her chest crawl to the forefront.

Somewhere around spring break Crystal lost contact with Gigi. She assumed the girl was just busy getting prepared for finals, but something felt off about it. Not even a simple good morning or goodnight text. The only thing she got when she tried to call was the cheery message Gigi had set up as her voicemails box. 

It was complete radio silence. 

That didn’t stop Crystal from leaving message after message. 

_ “Hi! This is the Gigi Goode! I’m probably busy becoming an icon right now, so if you leave a message after the little beepy thingy, I’ll probably maybe possibly get back to you! Unless you’re Crystal, then I’ll call you right back!” _

“Hey Gee! It’s me, again. Um, you haven’t returned any of my calls, but that’s fine! You’re probably just busy with fashion or whatever, which is super cool! Anyways, just call me back whenever you can. I can’t wait to see you.” She almost added an _‘I love you’_ but she refrained. She knew she wouldn’t be getting a call back.

——~——

Time felt sluggish but yet swift at the same time. Before Crystal could even think, it was nearly summer break. The flight back from New York was chockfull of jitters for Crystal. She could tell she was annoying the people next to her with all her fidgeting, but her mind was moving so fast that she couldn’t be bothered.

Once the plane was in the air she was able to calm down more. Her mind slipped off into the past. She hoped Gigi remembered their promise. 

_ “Hey Gee, when summer comes will you meet me at the spot?” _

_ “Of course Birdy. Anything for you. I’ll see you there at the usual time, okay?”  _

The words floated around in the back of her mind for the whole flight home. She hoped to God that Gigi remembered the promise. By the time the airplane landed, Crystal had mentally run through every possible scenario that could happen and how it could effect her. 

Time moved at a glacial pace and all Crystal could do was count down the seconds until twelve in the morning. The agreed upon time to meet at their spot. When it was eleven fifteen, Crystal shouted a quick goodbye and borrowed her family’s car. She sped off the familiar roads toward the highway, merging lanes and joining high-speed traffic. The wind didn’t whip around her like it did on Gigi’s bike, but the excitement of seeing the girl she loved thrummed deep in her heart. 

She reached the grassy hill she had come to know and love with ten minutes to spare. She reached into the back seat and grabbed the blanket and snacks she had brought in anticipation of having a lot of catching up to do. Skipping up the hill, Crystal was greeted with a wave of nostalgia when she saw the beautiful starry sky. 

She watched the road, waiting for the headlight of Gigi’s motorcycle. She checked her phone anxiously every few minutes, counting down the minutes until twelve, and every minute past that. 

Finally, a single headlight appeared on the highway. Crystal nearly sprinted down the hill, but stopped short when the bike that zoomed by was red, not the jet black she was accustomed to. With a heavy sigh she sat back down and checked her phone again. 

_ 12:57 _

_“Where are you Gee?”_ The whisper was never answered. 

Gigi never showed. 

It was four thirty when Crystal finally accepted the truth that Gigi wasn’t coming. Silent tears streamed down her cheeks as she sat surrounded by the food she had brought for them and the place they always went together. Her face was red with embarrassment. She had waited all night for a girl who never showed. Not just that, but the girl she loved. 

_ Still loved.  _

She fell onto her back, staring up at the dawn sky. The teardrops on her face burned like droplets of fire. Pained sobs racked her body and threatened to spill forth from her chest. Of all the possible way the night could’ve gone, this was the only one that Crystal wouldn’t have been able to cope with. 

Deep down she always knew this was how things would end up. She knew that Gigi wouldn’t stay. The only thing that hurt worse than being left, was that Gigi had loved her. She had let Crystal have a few memories with her that she would cherish forever. Crystal would rather Gigi had never felt the same. She wished she had just let her suffer in silence instead of allowing her to live her happily-ever-after for a few weeks and then yanking it all away. 

“Where did I do wrong? When did you stop loving me?!” Crystal shouted into the early morning air.  


“Did you ever love me...?”

  
  



	2. Gigi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Life from Gigi’s view

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so here’s the follow up chapter that I promised! It’s literally just sad so if you don’t want that this isn’t for you
> 
> Tw: mentions of slight alcoholism and depression but it’s really more alluded to rather than actually talked about

If you were to ask Gigi if she regretted what she did, she would tell you a thousand times yes. As far as she was concerned it was the worst mistake of her life. 

She should’ve never let Crystal go. 

——~——

The moment she laid eyes on Crystal at that horrible high school party, she knew she was in deep. It didn’t get better with time, and by the time she could even rationally think about telling Crystal how she felt, the two were preparing to split ways for the first time in three years. 

The warm summer night when she had first kissed Crystal was one of the best memories she possessed. The feeling of the other girl’s lips on hers was irreplaceable. She had tried. Many, many times, but it was never right. It was never Crystal. 

If she had known how Crystal felt, she would’ve gone to the same college. She would’ve gone anywhere Crystal wanted to go. Instead, she had chosen to go as far away as she could in a desperate attempt to run from her own feelings for the energetic and painfully loving girl. Gigi was great at many things. Most things actually, but expressing her emotions wasn’t on the list. There was a reason her friends called her a robot, after all. 

In yet another moment of panic and anxiety, she had let the best thing that had ever happened to her slip through her fingers. They promised to keep in touch as much as possible, facetiming and calling whenever possible. They sealed the agreement with a kiss that the brunette put every single bit of love she could muster into, before she drove away from her house. From her home.

From Crystal. 

The first few months went alright. Gigi missed Crystal terribly, but focusing all her attention on her fashion major helped her ignore her feelings like she did normally. Soon, it was unavoidable. Not having Crystal was akin to not having air. She missed the way the smaller brunette fit into her side when they cuddled, she missed Crystal’s goofy laugh and her smile that could light up any universe. 

By winter break, Gigi felt like she was going to die. Night and day, she couldn’t think of anything but Crystal. She was determined to get her mind off of the woman, so she went to one of the shitty parties her friends always begged her to go to. 

The moment she arrived, she downed three shots of straight vodka and left to find someone to make her forget. After almost an hour of searching, her eyes finally found someone who would work. A short Latina girl with dark brown eyes and brown hair. Perfect. She made her way across the room and struck up a conversation. The girl, Vanessa, was nothing like Crystal. She was loud and brash, still endearing and funny, but not in the way Gigi craved. She didn’t care enough to get that picky. She didn’t deserve to be picky.

She got Vanessa to take her back to her dormitory as quickly as she could. Sure the girl was beautiful and charming, but Gigi didn’t care. She wasn’t Crystal. For one night however, she would be close enough. 

The next morning Gigi woke up with Vanessa cuddling her like a koala. Gigi immediately felt sick to her stomach when she realized it was the exact way that Crystal used to hold her. She slipped out of the tight grip and hurriedly threw her clothes on and ran out the door. She didn’t bother leaving a note. She knew she wouldn’t be back. 

The next time Crystal called, she let it go to voicemail. She couldn’t bear to pick up the phone after what she had done. Her phone buzzed a few more times before going silent. A couple minutes later, her phone buzzed again, signaling that Crystal had left her a message. With shaky fingers, she opened her phone and pressed play. 

_‘Hey, Geege! It’s me, your favorite bird! I was calling to see how you were, but I forgot that it’s earlier where you are so you’re probably still sleeping. Did you know you smile when you sleep? It’s really cute. I’m rambling now, sorry. Anyways, I got the chance to show some of my art in a gallery! When you get back to me I’ll send you the pieces! I hope you’re having an amazing time in California, just don’t go falling in love with some other girl! Bye, I love you!’_

The voicemail stopped and Gigi became aware of the tears streaming down her face. She sniffled loudly and quickly wiped them away with the back of her hand. She promised herself she would get back to Crystal later. Every time Crystal called or texted, she pushed her response time further and further back. The guilt of sleeping with someone else was consuming her whole. It’s not like she had cheated, they weren’t together, but it still felt as though she had. 

When spring break rolled around, Gigi couldn’t even tolerate pretending that everything was okay. Instead of addressing the situation, she cut Crystal off. It hurt more than she could’ve possibly even imagined it could. To make up for the hole in her heart, she went back to Vanessa. When the Latina wasn’t enough anymore, she moved on to drinking. All her friends were becoming increasingly concerned, but she insisted that it was fine. Sitting alone in her dorm surrounded by cut up fabric and magazine clippings, Gigi descended into a depression. She pulled away from her friend group, choosing drinking alone in her room over socializing with others.

On May seventeenth, she got the last call from Crystal. The voice in the audio messages had gotten less and less cheerful with each call. They were also getting noticeably shorter with each missed call.

_‘Hey Gee! It’s me, again. Um, you haven’t returned any of my calls, but that’s fine! You’re probably just busy with fashion or whatever, which is super cool! Anyways, just call me back whenever you can. I can’t wait to see you.’_ It sounded like Crystal wanted to say something else at the end, but had stopped herself short. It was the first time since junior year of high school that one of their conversations had ended without an _‘I love you’_ , romantic or platonic. 

In the blink of an eye, finals had come and gone, and it was time to go home. Gigi was dreading the idea. Knowing that she would inevitably have to face Crystal in their small hometown was scaring the living daylights out of her. 

She couldn’t do it.  


So she didn’t. She stayed in California, reminiscing about what could’ve been. What should’ve been. 

All her memories of Crystal played in her mind like some sadistic movie theatre that she couldn’t leave. She looked over at the alarm clock on her bedside table. It read two-thirty in the morning. Four-thirty where Crystal was. She wondered what Crystal was doing. 

——~——

Four years later, Gigi finally went home. The last three summers she had made any and every excuse for her parents to fly out and see her. She knew Crystal well enough to know that her former flame would be home at any chance that she could. The more time went on, the worse Gigi felt about ceasing contact with Crystal. 

Her parents had been insistent that she come home, citing the fact that they had gone to her for the last few years, and that her graduating class was having a five year reunion. Gigi didn’t see the point in a five year reunion. Ten years? Sure. But five? Nobody would have any real reason to go. Her parents didn’t seem to agree, and told her to come home. 

After years of running and hiding, Gigi was finally going home. 

From the moment her plane touched down, she felt out of place. She rushed home, taking special care to avoid the streets that she knew Crystal would’ve frequented. She safely arrived home, but didn’t bother speaking with her family. She told them she was tired and wanted to rest before taking off up the stairs and returning to her room. 

The air left her lungs when she saw it again. Nothing had changed at all. It looked exactly how she had left it that last summer night all those years ago. The necklace that Crystal had bought her on her eighteenth birthday still sat in its box on her dresser. It was a simple piece, a silver chain with a cursive _‘G’_ on it, but it meant the world to her. 

Draped over the back of her desk chair was a sweater that held far more memories than she would even be able to recant. Crystal’s sweaters were all completely hideous and Gigi normally wouldn’t be caught dead in one. Her opinions all changed on their clashing prints and mismatched colors once Crystal given her one of the atrocities. It had quickly become one of her favorite things to wear, regardless of how ugly they may have been. 

She picked up the sweater, carefully folding it and clutching it close to her chest. It still smelled like Crystal after all this time. A small tear ran down Gigi’s face that was quickly followed by more tears than she could even begin count. Her breathing was shaky and ragged, and she knew she needed to stop herself, but she couldn’t. She reverted back to an old coping mechanism, slipping the sweater on and tucking her knees up inside it. 

Curled up into a little ball, she finally fell into a fitful sleep that was plagued by images of her and Crystal. 

The next two days were filled with Gigi’s family asking the same few questions over and over again. 

_‘How have you been?’_

_‘Why don’t you come home more?’_

_‘Have you gotten a girlfriend yet?’_

The last one stung. She always shrugged them off with an awkward laugh or deflected and asked them a question instead. The time until the reunion was quickly whittled away. Gigi prayed to whatever benevolent god there may have been that Crystal wouldn’t be there. She fell asleep again in Crystal’s sweater. 

On the day of the reunion, Gigi dragged herself out of bed and forced herself to look presentable. She clasped the necklace around her neck, something she hadn’t done in years. It used to be a good luck charm for her, but now it just felt like a weight on her chest, reminding her of her biggest mistake. 

“You can do this Gigi. She might not even be there! Besides, you’re over her. You don’t care anymore.” Gigi’s pep talk wasn’t effective in the slightest. If anything, it made her feel worse. 

Riding back to her old high school on her motorcycle brought back some of her best memories. Memories of a time before she and Crystal had told each other how they felt. Back when things were still okay between them. A flash of blonde hair caught her eye as she rode by. It almost looked like an all too familiar mullet, but Gigi knew it wasn’t the girl she wanted to see. 

She continued on her path until she reached the large brick schoolhouse she had spent so many hours in. With a heavy sigh, she propped her bike up on its kickstand and grabbed her helmet. She pushed though the doors of the school and was greeted immediately with a large cheer. All her friends from school tackled her in a series of hugs and cuddles. Gigi had forgotten how much she loved them all. The one woman she truly wanted to see wasn’t among the crowd. 

She fell back into an easy conversation with Jaida and Nicky, who had finally gotten over their incredibly long and annoying pining phase and had started to date. They were perfect together, and Gigi couldn’t help but think of herself and Crystal when she saw the way they looked at each other.

A few minutes later, another cheer went up and Gigi turned to see who was there. All at once, it felt like she had been simultaneously drop kicked from the top of Mount Everest by a body builder, and shot in the chest at point-blank range with a shotgun. 

Crystal Methyd stood in the doorway, her lips locked in that same dorky, adorable grin that she wore so well. Her hair was blonde now, and Gigi felt dumb for not remembering the woman’s proclivity for switching her hair colors. She was so lost in looking at Crystal that she didn’t even notice the brunette beauty on the Latina’s arm. 

Crystal’s happy eyes scanned the crowd, almost as if she was looking for someone specific. Gigi tried to disappear into the crowd, but I was too late. Crystal’s eyes fell on her and the cheery smile she had worn quickly faded. Crystal murmured something to the woman next to her before running down the hall. Gigi immediately pushed through the crowd of her former classmates, determined to follow the blonde woman at all costs. 

Crystal had headed down the hallway and rounded the corner. When Gigi arrived, she heard the woman before she saw her. Crystal was sitting against a wall of blue lockers and sobbing into her arms, rocking back and forth and looking beyond broken. If Gigi felt guilty before, it certainly wasn’t any better now. 

“Birdy...” Crystal’s head snapped up and looked at Gigi with such rage and pain that Gigi was surprised that she was even able to stay in the same room. 

“ _Don’t. You. Dare._ Don’t you dare fucking call me that after what you did. You have no right!” Crystal’s voice was hoarse and angry, her eyes seething with rage. Gigi’s eyes flicked down to her hand when she noticed the ring on Crystal’s finger. The ring she had given her. The ring she had bought because she felt that Crystal was her soulmate, and she wanted the other woman to know. Her fingers brushed over the necklace she wore. 

“Crys, it’s...it’s good to see you.”

“Don’t even speak to me Genevieve. I don’t know who you are.”

“Crystal that’s not fair-“

“No. You know what’s not fucking fair?! You broke my heart and you couldn’t even give me a reason! You made me love you, and then you just _left_ me. Was I not good enough for you?” Crystal exploded again Gigi, who stood rooted to the spot in shock. In all her years of knowing the sweet woman, she had never seen her this angry. 

“Crystal, I know this won’t even begin to solve it, but I’m so, so sorry.”

“Oh well that’s fucking phenomenal, Genevieve! Tell me now! Did you ever love me, or was I just another game for you? Was I just another Jan? Another Nicky?” The reminder of how Gigi had conducted herself in high school was a punch to the throat, and Crystal knew it was a low blow. She was too hurt to care. She wanted Gigi to hurt just as badly as she did. 

“Stop it. Don’t do that Crystal. You know that’s not how I feel about you. You know that I love you.”

“Oh really?” Crystal scoffed “Is that why you left me on read for _FOUR FUCKING YEARS?!_ Because you _love me?_ That’s bullshit. Don’t fucking lie to me.”

“Crystal, I’m not lying! I love you. I’ve loved you since that first night when we went to our hill.”

“And I stopped loving you when you didn’t come to our hill.” Crystal’s words were sharp and venomous, designed to slice Gigi’s heart open in one swift stroke. 

“Crystal...” Gigi could heat her voice cracking as she whispered the woman’s name. 

“Do you know how fucking hard it was to get over you? Do you have any idea how badly you hurt me? I thought I was going to die, Gigi. And you were nowhere to be found. Blocking me on all social media? Did you hate me _that much?_ ” Gigi cringed when she remembered how she had drunkenly gone on a blocking spree. When she had sobered up the next morning, she realized what she had done, but it was far too late. Unblocking Crystal would require that she request to follow her again, which would undoubtedly raise questions that she wouldn’t be emotionally stable enough to answer. 

“Crys, I was drunk and I didn’t mean-“

“Didn’t mean to what? Didn’t mean to lead me on? I spent three years fucking my way through New York, trying to find anyone who could make me feel what you did. I still haven’t.” 

“Wait, what?”

“You heard me. Don’t flatter yourself by acting dumb to make me say it again.” Crystal had always been a crier, and this was certainly no different. 

“Crys, please stop crying, you know I can’t stand seeing you like this...”

“Does the Gigi Goode, the queen of ice, feel pity? For little old me? She does feel after all! HEY EVERYONE, THE ROBOT FEELS!” The duo were far enough away that nobody would hear, but that didn’t stop Gigi from wincing at the old nickname. 

“Crystal, I wish I could make you understand how much I regret what I did.”

“I hate you. I hate how much I love you. I hate that no matter how hard I try, I can’t get over your stupid face. We can’t just keep pretending that it didn’t happen, cause guess what Gigi? It did. And you still haven’t told me why.” Crystal rose to her feet and glared up at Gigi. The brunt felt so small under the angry gaze. 

“You want to know why?!” This time it was Gigi’s turn to yell. “It’s because I fucking slept with another girl! I slept with her because she looked enough like you that I could pretend it was you I was fucking! I missed you! I missed you so fucking much... I still do. I still love you, and I don’t think I’ll ever be able to stop.” Gigi couldn’t help but start to cry as Crystal continued to stare at her wordlessly. 

“Crystal, please. Say something. Anything. Please be my friend, even my enemy, just don’t be the girl I just confessed my love to. I just want us back.” Crystal continued to stand in silence. Her eyes were unwavering as she stared back at Gigi’s watery eyes. 

“Yell at me, scream, hit me, just please say _something_...” Gigi pleaded desperately. She was seconds from turning and running away when Crystal finally spoke. 

“I never stopped loving you. I never stopped hoping, that one day, you would _finally_ call me back like you promised you would. I hate that no matter how badly I want to, I just can’t bring myself to hate you.” Crystal’s voice was so quiet that Gigi could barely hear the confession. Her heart thumped in her chest like it was trying to break through her rib cage and run free. 

She surged forward and wrapped her arms around Crystal, pulling her in for a kiss that she wished she could’ve done all those years ago. She could sense the hesitation in the smaller woman, but soon it had melted away. For a single, blissful moment, Crystal kissed her back. 

All the memories came rushing back. 

_Sitting under a tree and talking through their anxieties about their futures, jokingly planning the wedding they secretly wanted to be real, kissing in the dark on top of their hill, the first night when they finally admitted how they felt, the first night they met, the day Gigi let Crystal slip through her fingers._

Feeling Crystal’s lips back on hers was a feeling Gigi wasn’t ready to admit how badly she had missed. The brunette poured every ounce of love into the kiss that she could, hoping, praying, that Crystal would feel it. It reminded her of the last time they kissed. She held her close, desperation to keep her former flame alive evident in her body language. Those few seconds of Crystal kissing her back was heaven on earth. 

Unfortunately, what goes up must come down. The brief moment of bliss was cut short when Crystal pushed Gigi away. Gigi felt her heart break a little when she saw tears pooling in Crystal’s eyes. The same sad eyes and smile played on her face as the day she had left. She still smelled like paint and sleep, exactly the way she did five years ago. It seemed like nothing had changed at all, despite the obvious fact that nothing was the same anymore. 

“I’m sorry...I can’t do this Gigi.” Crystal’s voice was strained, she sounded like she was on the verge of tears again, which wouldn’t be unexpected from her. Crystal’s tendency to cry whenever anything was too much didn’t make Gigi feel any better. 

“W-What do you mean _‘this’_?”

“ _You._ I can’t do this with _you_ anymore.”

“Crystal, I know I really fucked up and that I can never fix what I did, but please. Please let me try. I love you so much, I never stopped loving you. I never will stop loving you, so please let me prove it to you!” Gigi knew the way she was begging was pathetic, especially after how badly she had hurt Crystal. In a moment of panic she grabbed Crystal’s hand and pulled her into a bruising hug. She could sense Crystal’s body hiccup with a small sob before the Latina spoke up. 

“I’m sorry Gigi. I’ll always love you more than I could love anyone else, but I deserve better. I’m dating someone new. Her name is Dahlia and she’s here with me. This isn’t fair to either of us. I can’t let you break my heart again.” Crystal’s voice was small and weak. It sounded as though the very words themselves hurt her to speak. She wrenched her hand away and ran off down the hallway. Gigi felt her heart splinter off into microscopic pieces for what felt like the hundredth time as she watched Crystal’s wild blonde hair disappear around the corner. 

“Poetic justice, I suppose...” Gigi murmured sadly to herself. Sinking down to the obnoxiously squeaky linoleum floors, a small tear slipped from the corner of her eye. All she could think about was what could’ve beenwhat life could’ve been like if she hadn’t let Crystal go. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise I’ll stop writing sad shit all the time (this is a lie I only write sadness and smut)

**Author's Note:**

> Lmk what you thought! I’m gonna go cry and watch ungodly amounts of anime! I’m also considering doing a chapter from Gigi’s POV so lmk if you’d wanna read that
> 
> Stay safe and don’t forget to drink some water!


End file.
